Anti-Humor Jokes & Post-Modern Internet Rose Poems

JOKES:

Q. What did the Farmer say when he lost his Tractor?

…

A. "Where the hell is my Tractor?"

Q. What smells like blue paint but looks like red paint?

…

A. Red paint

Q. What's brown and sticky?

A. a stick.

The little boy walks into a classroom and says "poop-poop-poop, you're poop-poopy pants!".

Teacher says don't say that.

The little boy says "okay, sorry".

    So a guy walks into a bar,

he drinks there every day,

it's slowly destroying his family.

So this guy walks into a bar, orders some food and eats it, shoots the bartender, then leaves like nothing happened.

So another patron of the bar was like "well what the fuck was that?!" and another patron tells him, oh he's a panda bear, he eats shoots and leaves.

Q. If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse?

A. None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

POEMS:

Roses are red...

Violets are blue...

In Soviet Russia,

poem writes you

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

This line doesn't rhyme,

And neither does this one

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

I can't get a girl,

But I guess you'll do.

I whistled for a cab,

and when it came near,

the license said fresh,

it had dice in the mirror

Pokeballs are red

Great balls are blue

Just like I chose my charmander

Now I choose you!

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Tulips are pink

And sometimes yellow

Mario is red

Sonic is blue

Will you please be

My Player 2

Roses are red

Violets are blue

All of my base

Are belong to you

Roses are grey

Violets are grey

Everything's grey

I'm a dog

roses are red,

violets are purple

shit

nothing rhymes with purple

roses are red

oranges are orange

fuck

missed here again too