A Brief Reflection on Nostalgia, Memory, and Knowing Yourself

"I remember when I used to be really into nostalgia..." --Demetri Martin

Brooding angst +Blissful happiness = Brooangst + Blissappiness = Brooanblissness?

Shifting through some old documents, I found a series of quotes I wrote down some six or seven years ago from music I was listening to when I first started college at Willamette. Only band names and a few key lines proved enough for a one-way ticket all aboard the nostalgia train. It's as if I can see a different me through sub-recollection of feelings projected, just through remembering music by Weezer, Tiger Army, Modest Mouse, Cake, and Bad Religion--among others--where just the band name takes my mind back to when I had the words and music floating through my (in)famous headphones (pic, above) constantly.

"If I can touch it,

I can destroy it,

if it's imaginable to some degree,

I can become it,

like a hungry turning vortex that just flickers to existence,

consuming bits and pieces until I'm finally extinguished"

(Marked, Bad Religion)

Songs tap into mental cavities we sometimes can't feel genuine in accessing for ourselves, and (good) songs offer an external perspective to what's internal, granting us another lens through which to see our feelings and thoughts. With music as a personal experience, we can think of (good) music as a personified commentary on the self. This is why we constantly relate ourselves to situational lyrics we hear, it's a way of looking at yourself through music. Do this enough, and you will build a subconscious image of yourself through music. Remembering the nostalgia of that 'you' constructed through music is what I'm talking about.

"Message read on the bathroom wall says, 'I don't feel at all like I fall'

And we're losing all touch, losing all touch, building a desert"

(Custom Concern, Modest Mouse)

Deep thoughts filtered through flippant moodiness, it's so readily apparent you can smell it.

  

Memories are vessels of success, regret, and randomly accessed images, all in disorganized snapshots that can render pictures of an emotion and will be seen under the scrutinizing lens of Hindsight20/20. For this there is no proper response, though an appreciation of how far you've come and generating a scope of growth are recommended. If you find something warm, hold onto it in the moment, past and present.

"As soon as your born you start dying

So you might as well have a good time"

(Sheep Go to Heaven, Cake)

Just imagine: you could be having this much fun finding yourself.

I feel like most people don't make time for memories, there is always something in front of them that needs more focus, and it can be unsettling to look back. However, doing so is how you continue to know yourself and gain perspective.
Take time to be you--most people are too scared to.
For a while, stay quiet and still.
Leave the electronic behind, go outside, and walk off the beaten path.

"It burns like a fire in the night

a glow that rises and becomes the starlite

Under the trees, in the night

You'll find it there

In the space between heartbeats

Where the whole world disappears"

(Forever Fades Away, Tiger Army)

I've have yet to find myself, but in this place is the closest I get.

PSA: You never know where or when nostalgia may happen to you, so always be prepared to quell the OH SHI- with a few deep breaths of things far gone, and also make time to languish in the warmth of positive past reflection, being happy just to have lived a life worth remembering.

"In fact we didn't know what we were doing half of the time

We were so sure of ourselves and drove a long way through life

Memories make me want to go back there, back there"

(Memories [how perfect], Weezer)