Subheadline: Grroossss.
Pictured Above: Rich Assholes.
==Read on to the bottom to see how I would have got with 140k in bribery!
Even America is no stranger to corruption. Recently compiled data shows that it is lower here than in other countries, because openly accepting bribery isn't a posh thing to flaunt. In nations with higher rates of corruption, like India and Mexico, you may need to bribe low-ranking public officials just to receive basic state services in a timely manner. There are still deals here in the States behind back doors, both legally and illegally, that link the corporate business world to the political sphere.
This recent case is more extreme than a few slipped bills, and will hopefully bring some focus to how business and politicians play the game of getting rich and staying in power while the needs of the people the serve are ignored.
The former governor and his rich-ass wife though... this is just... boring. They accepted bribes from a wealthy businessman's political leaning in the form of, just, stuff. Dresses, shoes, purses, and a bunch of golf gear. It is *difficult* to spend that much money on things. These were just trifles with name brands, and makes me despise the pointlessness of the brand market even more, as buying anything from "top" brands is nothing more than some sort of masturbatory ritual for the super rich.
And these were some boring rich people.
IF IT WAS ME, and I was eventually going to be indicted over getting free stuff, I would have done *way better* with my wishlist.
First off,
+BALL PIT: 20'x20'. I'm going to need, say, 30,000 balls. Oh yeah!
...dang, that's only $4,300. Still got $135,700 or so left...
+LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF NUTELLA: That's about 1,000 jars of the stuff = $5,250
...haven't even broke below 130k (*are you kidding me!?*)
+ZORB BALL TEAM SUITS: Ten "Zorbs" = $15,000
+LEVITATING HOVER SCOOTER: Built by Hammacher Schlemmer, maker of Roombas = $17,000
+JETPACK: $20,000 for a high-functioning model, when hovering everywhere gets to be somewhat of a snooze.
+A FREAKING TANK: Fully-armored, no ammunition, working order: $60,000 with your International Tank Driver's license.
+A SWAROVSKI CRYSTAL ENCRUSTED HELLO KITTY FIGURE: To put on the dashboard of the tank = $8,000
I still have about $7,000 left over...
42,000 FEET OF BUBBLEWRAP: Est. $6,800~
And that's STILL enough money to go to an elementary school and buy a donut for every kid there.....
LET'S REVIEW: I now own a 400'sq. ball pit, a lifetime supply of Nutella, a full team of Zorb! suits, a levitating hover scooter, a jetpack, a FREAKING TANK, crystal Hello Kitty, about 8 miles of bubblewrap, AND I STILL bought donuts for children, making me better than these two people.
IN SUMMARY: *Fuck these guys*, if you're going to be corrupt and takes lots of money, at least make it exciting.
